It’s The Way I Tell ‘Em (6)

Retirement-Jokes-Image-Laugh-a-Little-Each-Day

 

It’s that time of the year when the awards for the best jokes at the Edinburgh Fringe are announced. For your delectation I reproduce them with attributions.

The top 10 were:

  1. Rob Auton – “I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.”
  2. Alex Horne – “I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.”
  3. Alfie Moore – “I’m in a same-sex marriage… the sex is always the same.”
  4. Tim Vine – “My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him ‘Don’t be Sicily’.”
  5. Gary Delaney – “I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.”
  6. Phil Wang – “The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men.”
  7. Marcus Brigstocke – “You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.”
  8. Liam Williams – “The universe implodes. No matter.”
  9. Bobby Mair – “I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance.”
  10. Chris Coltrane – “The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately.”

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