A wry view of life for the world-weary

Politicians Of The Week


Many of us have been there, stuck in an interminable meeting where people are droning on about some topic that has no discernible interest to us. In the pre-digital days we had to make do with staring vacantly into the middle distance, doodling on the agenda or your notes or playing a game of solo noughts and crosses, a game I find I am undefeated in. In the digital age we now occupy we have many more temptations including surreptitiously (or even brazenly) checking the legion of e-mails that have popped into our in-boxes whilst we have been stuck in the meeting or playing one of the many games now available to be downloaded on to our tablets for our amusement and edification.

Nigel Mills, the Tory MP for Amber Valley, was stuck in a House of Commons committee meeting on pension reform. No doubt to prevent his eyes from glazing over completely and to wrestle himself from the arms of Morpheus, Mills entertained himself with a game of Candy Crush. Alas, he was snapped doing it and an unholy (and totally disproportionate) row broke out.

Perhaps he was researching how the candy icons could be converted into stock for the ever popular food banks although as one of the 296 MPs who voted against investigating food bank use, perhaps not.

Where would we be without the Ukippers? This week we had the story about whether Natasha Bolter who was a potential UKIP candidate for the constituency of South Basildon had been subjected to sexual harassment at the hands of the party’s general secretary or whether the two, as the now suspended official maintains, were in a consensual relationship. As the story meandered its merry way through the meejah it seems that la Bolter, who was introduced at the UKIP conference as someone unusual in the ranks – a vaguely intelligent human being with 5 A grade A levels and an Oxford degree – may not actually be what she claimed – who would have imagined that a Ukipper may have played fast and loose with the truth? – Wadham College finding no record of her being a student there.

The question for the general secretary, Roger Bird, is did he?

You couldn’t make it up.


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