A wry view of life for the world-weary

Surprises Of The Week


More news of unusual things found in unusual places –a gift that keeps on giving.

A chicken tikka and mango chutney sandwich, exotic as it may be, would not be my first choice but this gastronomic delight took the fancy of Hannah Scott when she visited a Tesco Extra store in Grimsby which truly lived up to its name.

On sinking her gnashers into said sandwich she immediately struck something hard and showing the presence of mind that has made this country what it is, realised something was amiss and spat her mouthful out. There to her astonishment was a snail and her distress was compounded when the mollusc, apparently unscathed from its adventure, started to move off, slowly of course.

Mrs Scott, naturally, complained to the store who, naturally, reacted with all the sympathy and compassion you would expect from a corporate leviathan by offering her £25 in compo. They have launched an enquiry as to what went wrong but it will either proceed at a snail’s pace or be kicked into the long grass. At least it wasn’t half a snail she found.

It always amazes me what people find in their orifices. Take Camberley resident, Steve Easton, who for decades had been suffering from sniffles and headaches which he put down to hay fever. Last week, I read with interest, he had an almighty sneeze and out flew the rubber sucker tip of a toy dart which, according to press reports, was in a slightly decomposed state. On telling his mother Easton learned that he had been taken to hospital 44 years earlier because his parents had thought he had inhaled a toy dart. Astonishing!


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