A wry view of life for the world-weary

Old Codger Of The Week (4)


Old habits die hard, it seems. So regular was the custom of emptying chamber pots out of the window in mediaeval France that the pre-emptive warning, gardez l’eau, is said to have become the origin for the English colloquial description of a toilet, a loo.

I read this week that an 84 year-old, one Charles Weatherford of Evansville, Indiana, was arrested following a contretemps with a thirteen-year-old. In high dudgeon Weatherford, who kept a bowl of urine on his balcony for defence purposes, as you do, allegedly poured the contents over the lad.

He is up before the beak, the clinching evidence being the distinctive smell of urine outside his home with no obvious source. But I don’t think it is an open and shut case. In my experience, the odours of urine and moth balls are the natural bedfellows of our elderly friends. Or it might just be the pong came from his sofa.

According to furniture repair company, Guardsman, urine closely followed by vomit – ever thus in my experience – are the top two causes of stains in furniture. Red wine is only sixth on the list – perhaps we should take this with a pinch of salt – and chocolate is as low as ten. The ominous and catch-all unidentifiable is lurking at number five.

Hope he gets off!

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