windowthroughtime

A wry view of life for the world-weary

It’s The Way I Tell ‘Em (20)

intellectuals

Here are the best jokes from the 2015 Edinburgh Fringe Festival for your delectation:

I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free – Darren Walsh

Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West – Stewart Francis

Surely every car is a people carrier? – Adam Hess

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter – Masai Graham

If I could take just one thing to a desert island, I probably wouldn’t go – Dave Green

Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas – Mark Nelson

Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night: day – Tom Parry

The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves – Alun Cochrane

Clowns divorce: custardy battle – Simon Munnery

They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for – Grace The Child

I never lie on my CV, because it creases it – Jenny Collier

If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself – Ian Smith

I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time – Tom Ward

Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I’m reminded of the definition of a gentleman. It’s someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t – Gyles Brandreth

And finally, let me tell you a little about myself. It’s a reflexive pronoun that means “me” – Ally Houston

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