A wry view of life for the world-weary

Theft Of The Week


The woes of the British biscuit eater continue. News reached me this week of an audacious robbery carried out at a warehouse in Cwmbran in South Wales.

The five malefactors, who between them are now serving up to 11 years at Her Majesty’s pleasure, drove up to the Burton’s Biscuit factory, posing as DHL delivery men. They swapped their empty trailer for one containing £20,000 worth of Jammie Dodgers.

They were caught but no trace was ever found of the biscuits. Crumbs! Obviously not vegans.

On hearing his sentence, one of the gang, Anthony Edgerton, said to the judge, “Sweet, thanks your honour. That will be lovely”.


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