The best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe 2016 for your delectation.
- My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He is a man after my own heart – Masai Graham
- Why is it old people say “there’s no place like home” but when you put them in one…- Stuart Mitchell
- I’ve been happily married for four years – out of a total of 10 – Mark Watson
- Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because they are really well lit – Mark Smith
- I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn’t much use. Just for a laugh I wrote the Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer…came second – Will Duggan
- Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you’re constipated – Tiff Stevenson
- I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words – Gary Delaney
- Why is Henry’s wife covered in tooth marks? Because he’s Tudor – Adele Cliff
- Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money? – Annie McGrath
- Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask – Jordan Brookes
- Hilary Clinton has shown that any woman can be President, as long as your husband has done it first – Michelle Wolf
- I spotted a Marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound – Roger Swift
- Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer – Arthur Smith
- I’ll tell you what is unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses – Zoe Lyons
- Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word – Phil Nicol
My personal favourite, though, was Masai Graham’s I got ripped off in Ireland recently. I bought some cocaine from Limerick but the third and fourth lines were a lot shorter”.
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