A wry view of life for the world-weary

Figures Of The Week



Our obesogenic society has thrown up a new problem which is eating into the time our pole sliders have to do their window cleaning rounds, shifting lard buckets who are too large to move independently.

According to figures released this week, there were 944 incidents recorded in 2015/16, up by a third from 2012/13 when the last data were compiled, where fire brigades were required to assist in the moving of our obese brethren. It can be a complex operation with lifting equipment and special slings deployed and occasionally walls, windows and interior fittings have to be removed to get them out. Included within the figures were a number of incidents where firefighters were called to assist undertakers place a tubby stiff in the, presumably reinforced, hearse.

A spokesman for the National Obesity Forum said “this is not about more people being obese. This is about those who are already obese now getting to a size where they now need assistance”.

So that’s alright, then.


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