A wry view of life for the world-weary

Pricks Of The Week (2)


How do you celebrate the birth of a child? Slipping a wedding ring on to your todger isn’t the first thing that comes to mind, I must confess. But according to The South African Medical Journal, this is precisely what a 28-year-old decided to do “for erotic reasons on the recommendation of his friends” after his wife had given birth. With friends like these!

Instead of whatever pleasure he was anticipating, his penis went erect and blue and he experienced excruciating pain – a severe case of penile strangulation. Two attempts by medics to remove the ring with an orthopedic oscillating saw failed because of the width of the ring and the fact that his member was excessive swollen. They were only able to remove it after injecting the penis to draw the blood. The swelling went down and the ring slipped off. The man has made a full recovery.

Still, with A&E creaking at the seams and waiting times intolerable, it is tempting to do a bit of self-surgery. A Chinese man called Chen from Hagzou City noticed some blood in his urine and decided to see what the problem. He reached for a stainless steel chopstick, as you do, and inserted into his urethra. Unfortunately, he pushed it in so far he could not remove it and so a visit to the local hospital was required. Was he pleased to see them? The chopstick was removed although it is not known whether Chen has suffered any long-term injury.

Warnings to us all, I think.


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