A wry view of life for the world-weary

Christmas Crackers Of The Year (2)


More of the best cracker jokes of 2016 for your delectation:-

Why can’t the England football team play Yahtzee this Christmas? Because they got rid of Allardyce.

Why is Bob Dylan’s sleigh so quiet? Because it has Nobel.

Who might be cooking Christmas dinner at No 10 this year? Theresa May.

Why can’t Mary Berry eat turkey sandwiches? Paul Hollywood took all the bread.

Why doesn’t Sam Allardyce help load Santa#s sleigh. Because it took him 67 days to get the sack.

Why did the snowman pull out of Strictly? Because he got cold feet.

What does Nigel Farage do to the hall with boughs of holly? He Dexit.

What did Tim Peake get in his stocking this year? Galaxy and Milky Way.

Why did Ed Balls fail an audition to play one of Santa’s reindeer in a Christmas pantomime? Because he’s no Dancer.

What’s Donald Trump’s favourite type of ice cream? Wall’s.

Why’s Santa going around the world this Christmas Eve? He’s playing Pokemon Ho Ho Ho.

How do snowmen leave the EU? They trigger Icicle 50.

And finally, what is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum. You just can’t beat it.


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