It’s The Way I Tell ‘Em (30)

More jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe

  • I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change – Ken Cheng
  • Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book – Frankie Boyle
  • I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point? – Alexei Sayle
  • I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her – Lew Fitz
  • I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated – Andy Field
  • Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant – Mark Simmons
  • I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it… – Jimeoin
  • I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house – Ed Byrne
  • I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died… which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine – Olaf Falafel
  • Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences.’ I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!’ – Alasdair Beckett-King
  • A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event – Angela Barnes
  • As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer – Adele Cliff
  • For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it – Phil Wang
  • I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark – Adam Hess
  • I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act – Tim Vine

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