windowthroughtime

A wry view of life for the world-weary

Christmas Crackers (4)

For those seeking their fix of up-to-the minute Christmas cracker jokes, here are ten of the best for 2017:

  • Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager? She couldn’t run a stable government.
  • Why don’t Southern Rail train guards share advent calendars? They want to open the doors themselves.
  • What’s the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year.
  • Kim Jong Un will play Santa this year in the South’s annual pantomime. He said he fancied a Korea change.
  •  Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree? Because people kept saying ‘moron’ to him.
  • Why was the planned Ryanair TV documentary scrapped? They were unable to air a pilot.
  • Which TV Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year? Deal Or No Deal.
  • Theresa May has asked Santa for a home makeover this year. First thing on the list was a new Cabinet.
  •  What did Bruce Forsyth say when the Christmas pheasant repeated on him? ‘Good game, good game’.
  • Why did Jeremy Corbyn ask people not to eat sprouts on Christmas Day? He wants to give peas a chance.
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