Hair Of The Week

Fortunately, my days of commuting are long over. The experience was often enough to tear my hair out. I was always intrigued, in a gallows humour sort of way, by the imaginative stock of reasons trotted out to explain why the train had failed to travel down a pair of metal tracks in the allotted time. But this is a new one on me.

The overcrowded 06.34 London Northwestern Railway Service from Bletchley to London Euston made an extended stop at Tring the other day. Why? One of the automatic doors wouldn’t shut properly following the scheduled stop at Tring.

And why was that? Apparently, one of the passengers had got her hair extensions caught in the door. Staff took a couple of minutes to release the offending piece of hair, the reports I read do not make it clear whether it was still attached to the woman’s head at this point, and then the train went on its merry way. I imagine the other commuters didn’t mutter hair we go again but I do hope the tannoy announcer apologised for the delay caused by hair on the line.

For those who are folically challenged, a wig can cover up those bald patches. For those contemplating wearing one, there are many other uses to which they can be put. Take the case of a man arrested at Barcelona airport. He drew attention to himself by his nervous disposition and his large, lumpy toupee. When his hairpiece was removed, the authorities found a bag containing a pound of cocaine.

Hardly a narcotics big wig, the man will need to reconsider his smuggling techniques next time. Perhaps hair extensions.

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