News has reached me that members of the wittily named Bakers Association of Kerala (BAKE) have just smashed the world record for the longest cake in the Keralan city of Thrissur. The previous record holder was a cake made in China in 2018 which was a measly 1.98 miles long.
Hundreds of bakers from the state descended on the city and baked away. The result of their endeavours, a vanilla cake, four inches wide and thick, weighing around 27,000 kilograms and topped off with a chocolate ganache, was stretched out on thousands of tables and desks.
The icing on the cake when a representative from Guinness World Records measured it at 5,300 metres, or 3.29 miles in old money, comfortably claiming the record.
I assume it was then eaten. There would have been plenty to go around.