Christmas Crackers (11)

More Christmas cracker jokes for your delectation:

I wish I could afford Rudolph and Blitzen decorations for my tree this year.

Alas, they’re two deer.

What did the Kremlin send MI6 in their Christmas hamper?

A mince spy.

What happened when Santa got stuck in the chimney?

He had an attack of Claustrophobia.

What did the drunk snowman say to the carrot?

‘Get out of my face!’

What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?

He gives them the sack

How did Scrooge win the football match?

The ghost of Christmas passed

Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh?

He wanted to see time fly!

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinsel-it is.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Christmas. How about you?

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Honda.
Honda who?
Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

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