August 13, 2017
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It’s a funny thing but whenever I’m watering the garden, I almost immediately feel the need to relieve myself. Fortunately, I have sufficient self-control to make it to the toilet before letting go. Not so, I learned this week, stable staff when they are mucking out their horses. Their habit of having a wazz, whilst going about their horsekeeping duties, is so endemic that trainers are now erecting signs in their yards reminding their staff not to urinate in the boxes.
It all came to light when a horse, Wotadoll, finished unplaced in a race in Wolverhampton last year but was found to have a metabolite of the painkiller, Tramadol, in her system. An enquiry has revealed that the probable cause was Shaun Cuddy having a wazz while mucking out. So seriously have the British Horseracing Authority taken this behaviour that they fined the horse’s trainer £750 for spending a penny.
Leaving a deposit has had even more disastrous consequences for Andrew David Jensen who allegedly broke into a house in the Californian city of Thousand Oaks. Whilst he was rifling through the house owner’s possessions, he answered an urgent call of nature. The police were able to collect sufficient DNA from his poop to identify Jensen on their database. Some nine months after the burglary, he has had his collar felt and is up before the beak. Always flush after you’ve been is my motto.